my apologies

      Individuality is under attack. I see it in so many ways. It comes across in many of the laws that are passed. In our society, we are expected to conform, to live to the standards of others.
      I lay in bed this morning thinking of things I planned to write in this blog and then I looked at the generic bullshit I already wrote the past couple of days and I know, I am toning it down because I am concerned I will get negative press from about 3 people I can readily identify and maybe some others. So, I am writing to please others. I am writing with one eye on the audience. I am not writing for me....
       and I wonder, when did I becoem such a pansy? When did the opinions of other's become so important to me? (well in part because, I honestly care about what my friends think and feel)
        In particular, I watch one friend who is always, always, to the point of "gag me" always, saccharine positive on her facebook. I ain't kickin bein positive but, I gotta wonder, it can't always be that damned good can it? Due to her, and her high praise of daisies and children, I started to feel I was maybe, out of the norm. I didn't want her to see my issues, smell my farts. I altered who I am to suit her. I do not have the perfect life... omg! I cannot even begin to offer a measurement to show how far from normal me and mine are! Let's just say, we put the "fun" in dysfunctional!
       Starting with my mom and her siblings, working right through my generation and down, my collective family has at least one version of every psychiatric diagnosis out there. We got paranoid skizzo with a dash of OCD and throw in Bi-polarism for flavor. I call it personality. I believe half of what we are givven pills to "cure" are simply personality traits. Anger management for us is usually, hit a local bar, pick someone and beat the living daylights out of em. There, anger managed! Kinda hard to do that in this state cause they got a $ fine $ fetish. Its all about the do re money$!
      They really don't care if you beat the hell out of each other so long as they get their cut. Even the victim has to pay because, in this state, there is not self defence. You are not to fight back! You are supposed to run! I swear its true! I know from first hand experience. So, if really hate someone, go beat the crap outta them, then, tell the cop they fought back. You get a 350 dollar fine, but! so does your victim!
      Anyhow, I am done wid dis $#!+ of writing to please others. I have to conform in so many other ways, I don't think my creativity is one I wanna give in on. Be warned then. I don't want to insult anyone. I do not want to offend my Christian friends, because I love you dearly, but, the content I put on here is gonna be where my tender feelings and hardened heart leads me daily. I am gonna speak what I feel, Vent my anger, step on some toes, snap off some heads, (head are gonna roll, ba ha!) and honestly, I really don't give a flying leap of shit who likes it. (Sorry)...
      I am, by nature, very confrontational. I like that part of me. I enjoy being who  I am. I can play the roll when called upon to do so. I can act, be, Joe Average.
       I am not gonna be that here.
      So, this is not what I planned to say on today's blog. I got off track trying to explain to the nice readers that, it might not be so nice anymore. Now, time does not permit me to write what I had planned. I was gonna start with a tribute to my children. I think bad kids deserve some press time too. Like the old bumper sticker that used to say, "My kid can beat up your honor student".
      I probaby won't be getting on tomorrow at all, so if you are wondering what I am going to be saying on here, if I have grabbed your attention... good!