Tuesday, February 15, 2011

kinda wondering...

      I didn't see it, but Billy says the President has announced he is going to cut LIHEAP. So much for that son-of-a-bitch claiming he understood the poor of this country, how the poor man couldn't make his bills. If he does this, we need to pull an Egypt on him for real!
     Why? Yesterday, I got a call from a 75 year old woman. She is widowed, lives alone. Her LIHEAP finally came through. She had been without heat for over a month. How she did not freeze to death, I will never know. LIHEAP sent $400.00 to her fuel company, but guess what! They refused to deliver it. Why? She didn't have enough $$$ for 150 gallons. This is where I came in. I gave her a voucher to pay the extra 120 dollars she was short.
      Now, you tell me, just what the hell are people gonna do if he cuts more from the poor people? He has already frozen the Social Security cost of living raises. They claim there has been no inflation. 3 of the 5 charities I work with are out of funds to help these people make it through the winter. My funds are dwindling rapidly. The money we use depends completely on donations.
     Last week a lady was in my office. She needed fuel and had been without for over a week. She came in freezing and sick. Her LIHEAP fuel was already gone. She wasn't mentally "there". She had been setting fires in her kitchen sink to stay warm.
    I get an average 4 families per day needing fuel assistance because the LIHEAP isn't enough. These people can barely make their bills, and if they had to put out the 500+ dollars it takes to get a friggin fuel company to even bother to deliver, they simply couldn't make it.
     In the summer, fuel is cheap(er). In the winter, they purposefully raise the price. It costs over 3.50 a gallon now. It is insane. Nope folks, no inflation there!
     THESE FUEL COMPANIES ARE A DAMNED SCAM all by their little selves. I have one, count em one, company who will deliver 50 gallons instead of the 150 the others demand. Good. I have sent at least 100 people to that company for their fuel. That means those other sum botches have lost 100 customers. 100 customers at 150 dollars each... hmmm..... yay me!
    We need to get a grip on our government. For real. I may be too late already because we have created a monster.
    Oh! Wait! I know! Maybe they figure that, other countries will kick in and save the poor little Americans! Maybe other countries will come to our financial aid! Sure! I mean, the son of a bitch is cutting what little we have as they send billions of dollars to Haiti and Iraq and Afghanistan....
      Our government stinks for real.

Monday, February 14, 2011

one down....

      For years, I have watched my daughter become a monster. The mother is the last to know, the last to accept. I made excuses for her, I ignored the things she did, I let things go that were horrendous. I watched her tear our family to shreds over and again. I went the whole gamut of emotions, from tears to all shades of rage. Over and again, she did things to me that, had she not been my child, would have been cause, reason enough to expel her from my life permanently.
      In my heart, I saw my baby. In my heart, I kept thinking she still was vulnerable enough to need me. I didn't think she did these things to me purposefully. I lied to myself and made excuses for her. Finally, I accepted she was simply broke that way. Then she made a leap. She went from, where she did horrible things because it was her life and she could do as she pleased, to where, she did horrible destructive things to purposefully screw me. When I finally saw that, we crossed a line.
       I always told her, you can do anything, be anything... who'da thunk wasted pill poppin junky would be her choice?
     And her poor, poor children... the things they have seen. For the sake of strangers who do not know me, we will call my daughter, Super Spawn.
     Super Spawn paints me as the worst degree of mother you could possibly have. I have worn that badge for years as I solved all her problems, gave her money, a place to live, bought her out of her messes, supplied last minute Christmases for her children, and kept them for all the months she was in jail.
     Being called a bad mother by the likes of her, well, it has become a compliment. She has lost her kids to Children and Youth and didnt get them back for months. I kept them half the year for her in 2009 while she was in jail for selling drugs just to watch her pick them right back up, (the drugs) as soon as she was released. Oh, and as soon as she was released, I went back to being a used piece of shit. "Dear Mommy, I owe you! I promise I have changed, my poor babies!" yeah right, just so much drivel.
      Anyhow, she set me up a  few months back. Long story short, she was supposed to pay my fines, borrowed money from my youngest to pay them. Told me she paid them...
      I went the next month to pay the next payment due, only to be met with an arrest warrant, suspended license and the constable on his way to my house to arrest me. She lied. She took the money and did God knows what with it, but it sure wasn't used on my fines.
     We have been at war ever since.
      She got arrested last night.
      Now maybe my family can have some peace.

Friday, February 11, 2011

What a mess!

       I am under attack! The Shedders have invaded my home and I am without the proper ammunition to combat them!
        Shedders have wrecked havoc in my home! They have left a trail behind stretching a mile wide. Nothing is sacred! They shed in my kitchen, my living room, my bathroom, my personal bedroom and, (gasp) even my CAR!
       Look! All over my house! Is it a dog? Is it a fluffly, purry, kitty kitty? Why no! It is Mommy 1 and Mommy 2!
       Mommy 1 and Mommy 2 have moved in to my home and with them has come a lot of extra work for me. They brought their little thems, Baby 1, and Baby 2. The little thems don't actually make a mess, but the tools used to sustain them certainly do.
       Across the coffee table and yes, the end tables too, are the ranks of the bottle brigade. This little army snakes its way through the kitchen and they have a sentry stationed all along the kitchen counters and just for the sake of safety, there's a troop on the kitchen table too!
       Mommy 2 requested medical attention yesterday. "Where is the ibuprophen?"
       "Under the bathroom sink,"
       Now, why Mommy 2 needed to bring the ibuprophen to the living room I do not know, but it could be, this big bottle became commander and chief of the baby bottle battalion already stationed there? I dunno, but after about 3 hours I said, "You can put that back where you got it!" Mommy 2 huffs and she puffs, but she does carry the commander back to the bathroom where, instead of putting it back under the sink, she sits it on the counter with the 3 baby washrags and her hair gel. I think she might have tried to conceal these weapons of mind destruction because she removed the hand towel I hang beside the sink and threw it carelessly across the whole shebang. Now, she and I have been at war over this hand towel for months already and I am sure, once captured and drilled about this particular little battle plan, her answer will be, Name, Rank, Serial Number and "I Dunno!" I say, "If you can take the towel down, you can put it back! Why do you keep doing this?" to which she replies, like the well trained little soldier she is, "I dunno."
        Little tubes of baby balm line the edges of whatever surface they were last used near. Dresser, changing table, nothing is sacred. An occasional diaper forgets to make it into the pail designed to staunch the stench. Pacifiers dissappear and are regularly replaced with the unending supply of extra pacifiers kept for just such an emergency. (the lost ones turn up under the couch, in the cushions and surprisingly, wrapped in hand towels on the bathroom sink! )
     And its not just baby stuff! I go to work and I come home and dishes have begun to climb across the counter in a mating ritual with the bottles. Laundry overflows along the top of the dryer where the basket is placed to catch it, all the way to the very edge of the washer and dangerously close to the edge where it could easily "plop" into the toilet. Did any of this make it in to the washer? Nope! No clothes in the washer! That might resemble "work"!
      I could knit a sweater with the lint on the carpet and the dust, well, lets just say, if we moved all the other stuff, we might be able to find the dust.
       I don't bother to ask them to mop the floor because that is above and beyond the call of duty. I come home and cook dinner. They do actually wash the dishes. They do them right before I cook dinner the next evening.
      I go to my car, and coats and drink cans, glasses and bottles remain behind as though they have the power to carry themselves back to the mommys'. I mean, after all, the mommys' have to carry in car seats. The thing is, I often look at all this "stuff" they leave behind and I ask myself, who do they think is responsible for it? I keep my mouth shut because I don't wanna hurt feelings, but damn!
      I am at the point where, I gotta climb this mountain and recapture the battlefield. It is not gonna be purty and I expect casualties. I plan to take possession of all their weaponry and blow it back to the region of origin. I think a huge pile of bottles, blankies, tiny clothes, dirty diapers, clean diapers, seaters, and balmers strategically tossed in the middle of the enemie's camp might just send the message that, this battle zone is now occupied by the reigning Queen.... Long live the Queen!

Thursday, February 10, 2011

my apologies

      Individuality is under attack. I see it in so many ways. It comes across in many of the laws that are passed. In our society, we are expected to conform, to live to the standards of others.
      I lay in bed this morning thinking of things I planned to write in this blog and then I looked at the generic bullshit I already wrote the past couple of days and I know, I am toning it down because I am concerned I will get negative press from about 3 people I can readily identify and maybe some others. So, I am writing to please others. I am writing with one eye on the audience. I am not writing for me....
       and I wonder, when did I becoem such a pansy? When did the opinions of other's become so important to me? (well in part because, I honestly care about what my friends think and feel)
        In particular, I watch one friend who is always, always, to the point of "gag me" always, saccharine positive on her facebook. I ain't kickin bein positive but, I gotta wonder, it can't always be that damned good can it? Due to her, and her high praise of daisies and children, I started to feel I was maybe, out of the norm. I didn't want her to see my issues, smell my farts. I altered who I am to suit her. I do not have the perfect life... omg! I cannot even begin to offer a measurement to show how far from normal me and mine are! Let's just say, we put the "fun" in dysfunctional!
       Starting with my mom and her siblings, working right through my generation and down, my collective family has at least one version of every psychiatric diagnosis out there. We got paranoid skizzo with a dash of OCD and throw in Bi-polarism for flavor. I call it personality. I believe half of what we are givven pills to "cure" are simply personality traits. Anger management for us is usually, hit a local bar, pick someone and beat the living daylights out of em. There, anger managed! Kinda hard to do that in this state cause they got a $ fine $ fetish. Its all about the do re money$!
      They really don't care if you beat the hell out of each other so long as they get their cut. Even the victim has to pay because, in this state, there is not self defence. You are not to fight back! You are supposed to run! I swear its true! I know from first hand experience. So, if really hate someone, go beat the crap outta them, then, tell the cop they fought back. You get a 350 dollar fine, but! so does your victim!
      Anyhow, I am done wid dis $#!+ of writing to please others. I have to conform in so many other ways, I don't think my creativity is one I wanna give in on. Be warned then. I don't want to insult anyone. I do not want to offend my Christian friends, because I love you dearly, but, the content I put on here is gonna be where my tender feelings and hardened heart leads me daily. I am gonna speak what I feel, Vent my anger, step on some toes, snap off some heads, (head are gonna roll, ba ha!) and honestly, I really don't give a flying leap of shit who likes it. (Sorry)...
      I am, by nature, very confrontational. I like that part of me. I enjoy being who  I am. I can play the roll when called upon to do so. I can act, be, Joe Average.
       I am not gonna be that here.
      So, this is not what I planned to say on today's blog. I got off track trying to explain to the nice readers that, it might not be so nice anymore. Now, time does not permit me to write what I had planned. I was gonna start with a tribute to my children. I think bad kids deserve some press time too. Like the old bumper sticker that used to say, "My kid can beat up your honor student".
      I probaby won't be getting on tomorrow at all, so if you are wondering what I am going to be saying on here, if I have grabbed your attention... good!

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Wow!

      Well, well, well! Ok, so call me stoopit! I get on here this morning and take a gander at my own blog and see, that, wow, I got comments! I had no idea more than 3 people had looked at it, and certainly did not know I had responses and well, look! I'm blushing! Hi y'all!
       My buddy Joann is watching, (this is me waving, Hi! Hi Jo!" and then.... Eric... her husband who stalks me! and he has followed me here too... (pervie)
     So, the heat is on. I was praised as a "fun" blog... and I certainly hope to be, but, sometimes I get serious too!
      I am still learning this site and I am soooo computer illiterate sometimes! (like, it took me what, 5 blogs before I saw I was getting imput? Gawd knows what else I'm missing!)
       Ok, so today, I have nothing at work, so I am staying home. Schools are opening 2 hours late and for real, I don't get it! Yesterday, it was like a blizzard out there and they sent the little darlings, today, they did the two hour delay cause it is cold outside? Thing is, Pennsyltucky can't cancel like those whoosey southern states do! First sign of a *snowdrop* and "BOOM BABY!" the buses cease bussin and the school doors slam shut! Not so up here in the ice zone. If they closed down due to every blizzard that happened by, we would have to start having school only during the summer.
      Yuppers, I tell everybody, we have 3 seasons up here.... WINTER,  MONSOON, & hot, dry day! (sometimes we skip hot, dry day altogether.
       Through the months of October until March, it is my job to sit in the house at the window and watch the penguins migrate. Billy calls me a housecat and gets all pouty face cause I don't wanna go outside and play! I dig in like a bear and somehow manage to pack on the pounds it takes to successfully pull off hibernation. I got no desire to leave the house. Even the draw of Wally-World is not quite so strong as it is in the warmer months. There are actually times I decide to stay home instead of shopping... true! I swear it!
      I long for the great thaw! I make promises to myself, vows I swear I will keep!
          When summer comes, I will finally start exercising! I will go outside EVERY day! I will spend more time with Billy and.... blah blah blah... You get the picture right?
       Thing is, I lie to me cause when summer is really here, when the temps hit 90 degrees, well.... me, I slither back into the house and turn up the air conditioning cause, well, its hot outside!
       Which just goes to prove, some of us are never satisfied.
      So, I did see comments, but I got a couple from names I am not sure of. (Scruples, Brown woman?) I just wanna ask, if you are someone I do know with a name I am un-aware of, let me know, and if you are someone I don't know, well, wow! and welcome! Nice to have you!
     I gotta go for now. A friend calls!

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Poor lil Americans

         You are not going to believe this! When I first started telling it, Billy was pretty sure I was informing him about a scam, but nope, this is true stuff.
         I work in Human Services. One the duties of my job is to help people find financial aid when they have met with temporary hardship. (like in our economy, hardship can be temporary!)
        So, this lady comes in to my office yesterday, straight from another charity who had run out of funds and in turn, sent her to me, but, they had armed her with the phone number of this organization called, and you might wanna write this down, Citizens Energy Program.
        She says, you call the number supplied and though it takes about 3 weeks, this organization will supply you with 100 gallons of heating fuel!
        So, after she leaves, I call the other charity, because, hey, this sounds like a pretty awesome deal to pass along to my clients. You have no idea how many people are out there right now with NO HEAT!
        Here's the deal.
        Citizens Energy Program is run by the government of Venezuela. (probably murdered the spelling here, but you get the picture, right?)
        Apparently, there is one government out there who sees the plight of the American people and is doing something about it. Knowing how, such a majority of our resources are spent aiding other countries so that we can continue to present the facade of being affluent, and seeing that, as we do this, millions of American people are literally, left out in the cold, the country of Venezuela has set up a fund to aid the low income families of the United States by supplying 100 gallons of fuel if you contact them and fill out their application.
       Oh and you can bet your bottom dollar, the higher ups in our government are not plumb tickled pink about all this, oh no! Sort of ruins the whole benevolent giver image don't it if our own people have to turn to outside resources for help we cannot get at home!
       BUT! Though he has passed away, apparently, Ted Kennedy had a part in all this and used his office for passing it along. I do not know his full role, but I was told that much and so I pass it along to you. I give credit where credit is due. Kudo's to Senator Kennedy.  
        I used a green background today to indicate money and finances, and while I am at it, I am going to add this little plug.
        The Salvation Army kettles you see every year are manned by volunteers. These people do not get paid to stand out there in the rain and snow. 100% of the funds collected is to be used throughout the year to aid families who meet financial duress and cannot meet their basic needs. I personally did not know this. Yes, sometimes it ends up supporting users and leeches, but for the most part, this $$$ is used to aid people just like you and me who simply cannot make it due to some major catastrophe, such as losing their job, or car....
        The next time you hear someone talk about the church people and what hypocrites they are, gently remind them that, at least in our community, some of the biggest contributers to our needy are these very people who are so maligned. This is one area where I see a union of several faiths and beliefs. They all work together to help out.
          Just sayin.......
        I know things are hard for all of us. I personally don't have a lot of money to spare, but, the need is always there. You can make donations any time of year. If you want the money kept in a certain area, you can request this. Let's join in with Venezuela in helping out the poor lil Americans!

Monday, February 7, 2011

Rah Rah! Ba ha!

Well I gotta say this for the Green Bay Packers,
They took the game and they ain't slackers,
BIG Ben din't live up to his fame,
He was slow and clumsy, off his game....
Yuppers, theSteelers got whooped and lost the Bowl,
Like so many cheesy poofs, no foul, no goal!
Cryin now in their terrible towels,
Regretting all of their pre-game vows!
Me? I don't care, I'm a fairweather fan,
Just used football to get time wid my man!
Rah Rah!Ba ha!

and hey, I gotta admit, I lost 10 bucks,
Made that stoopit bet! Oh no! Well, shucks!
Thought the Steeler's had this game in the bag,
(embarrassed now that of this I did brag)
But in the back of my little mind,
Somewhere under the porn, I happened to find,
A little niggling doubt, yes, it was right there!
That said, "Remember the tortoise, and the hare!"
We forgot that wins can sometimes be rocky,
And maybe we got just a little too cocky...
Rah Rah! Ba ha!

So here's to you fools now rubbin it in,
Hell! Some of your teams din't even make it in!
And me, I could care, long as Dallas warnt there,
We dirtied their stadium! Ha! Ha! Don't care!
Hat's off to the Packer's! They deserve the glory!
We all know one game ain't the end of the story!
And maybe, just maybe, we should look at BIG Ben,
and all of his bad stuff, his crimes and his sin!
Say, hey dude, this all comes back to you!
This is BEN karma! This is BEN JuJu!
Rah Rah! Ba ha!

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Fire on the Hill

      I'm watchin these moron's (idiots, goofballs, wee-tawds etc) over in Egypt and I'm thinking, though the way they are doing it leaves much to be desired, you sorta got admire that, when they finally got fed up with the way things were bein run, they decided to do something about it rather than sit on their @$$e$ and continue to let their government railroad them into oblivion... like ours is doing.
      I am mad, for real. I think we too need to put some fire on the hill. What we need to do is, head our butts into Washington and FIRE every rich, fat cat sitting there using our taxes to fill their pockets and giving nothing in return.
      They think we are stupid, and we are for real, cause, we let them do this. They tell us, VOTE! Vote for who? The lesser of two evils? They don't represent us!
      On the news this week they reported that, the higher courts have ruled that it is against our constitution to make us buy health insurance. (hey, was it against our rights when they forced us to purchase auto insurance? I know I have it and it sure as hell didn't do squat for me when I was in an accident and my car was totalled. Is is against my rights to tell me I can't smoke outdoors? (I quit smoking, but damn, there have got to be some limits here!) Is it against my rights to force me to wear seatbelts?
      This is the second year in a row where, our governement did not give recipients of Social Security a cost of living raise.
      Dig this, there is no inflation!
      They get their raises though don't they? And the news says, we are heading out of this recession... the DOW is rising.
       Bull Shedazzle!
        They have run us into the ground. Do we want them involved in this mess in Egypt? Hell no! This ain't our mess! For once, mind your own friggin business Washington! Better yet, mind OUR business! What the hell, you gonna go over there and blow them up too? Don't waste the bombs, cause as we have all learned, while our people are starving and barely making ands meet, our money is still being shipped over there to "rebuild" the friggin country we blew to smithereens!
     Do they appreciate our "help"? Absolutely not. America is the most hated country in the word. I say let em continue to destroy each other.
      I think, anytime our "leaders" are trying to decide about whether or not to get involved in the political arena of another country, they need to put out an internet poll and let the AMERICAN people decide where to spend our money!
       My friend said the other day, she was goin the pharmacy to buy a can of Fukitol. I think that's what we all need when it comes to our government. Only, let's call it, Fukemall!

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Stairway to 7

        When I first moved up here to Out-There, Pennsyltucky, my neighbor told me, "You're in Steeler's country now!" to which I replied, "Honey, I ain't from this country!"
        Some time later, she called me and she was crying, "Ben's been hurt! He was in a motorcycle accident!"
       "Ben who?"
       "Rothlisberger!" ( I probably murdered the spelling)
       Exasperated I said, "Are you freakin kiddin me?"
       I mean, she is seriously crying because this quarterback got himself hurt...
       I was never a fan of football, but if I was, it would have been the REDSKINS. (Hail! oh Hail!)
        Like I said, I am not from Steeler's country, I am Maryland born and bred and for the longest time, before the Cleveland Browns farted out the Ravens, the closest thing Maryland had to a team was DC's pride and joy... so, at the very least, I now tell people I am "football challenged."
       Then, Ben started doing some very naughty things and for real, this turned me emphatically against him and I decided to boycott the team completely. When the Steeler's came on, I turned the channel.
      You get a wide range of responses to that mess up here. The womenfolk take it a lot harder than the men. But, in time, I have come to see the problem, while he is a really rotten human being, apparently, BIG Ben is an excellent quarterback... that sucks! Cause, if he didn't do his job so damned well, they might have actually got rid of his a$$. (and, he would probably be in jail!)
       Soooo, all around me, it looks like the football deity $#!+ a Steeler's team! Its crazy! The only person I saw not dressed in Steeler's drag yesterday... was me! The school, the grocery store, the post office, the beer store! OMG! They're everywhere! I gotta give it to em, these Pennsyltukian's are loyal to their team, and they go all out to express it!
       The hospital emergency room is decorated in banners and flags and terrible towels... and I said, "Heaven's forbid if a bus full of REDSKINS wrecked near here, they'd be $#!+ outta luck!" I dressed our new baby in burgundy and gold, (simply to mess with his daddy's daddy), but the nurse walked in and gasped, "Oh my Lord! Look what they've done to that poor baby!"
      So, in order to spend more "we" time with my lover man, I decided to have "football" time every weekend. I make "football" food and yell "football" stuff like, "GIT THAT SUM BOTCH! GIT IM!!!!!"
      ...and at first, my team was, the CAROLINA GAMECOCKS! Yee Haw! Like I told Leslie, "Honey, for me, it ain't about the football, its about the CHICKEN!"
        But eventually I had to give in and allow the Steeler's, (Ben and all) into my living room. I have lived here 20 years now and for all that time, I have been surrounded by the Steeler's nation... I guess I need to adapt to the "country" I live in! bahaha
       Billy loves to watch em play and he has actually become a fan. His other team was the Philedelphia Eagles, but sort of like me with the Gamecocks, it was for the bird, not the team!
       He wants to know what I want for Valentines Day. A puppy? A couple more Cichlids? Flowers? Candy? I said, "Nope, just get me a Steeler's Jersey so I don't feel so outta place! I mean for real, I go to the grocery store and feel like I am sittin neked in a church pew!
     So, this is it, my first blogger blog, a tribute to the Steeler's! Who'd a thunk it!